Wednesday Hodgepodge - 11/16

1. What song reminds you of a specific time in your life and what is it about that song that makes you remember?

I'm a song person, so there are many different ones that go with different times in my life, but the very first one that comes to mind is "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack.  Back a million years ago when Crys worked for a radio station, she shared this song with us before we had ever heard it on the radio.  We were part of a close-knit group in college and with most graduating, it felt like the perfect theme song for the moment.  I will never forget sitting there in my parents' living room, listening to that song together.  It was such a sweet memory.

2. What's something you've given up on?

I've given up on trying to please everyone.  It's just not going to happen, and that's hard for me to admit because I am a people pleaser by nature.  But, at the end of the day, as long as God and I are good on what is going on, the rest doesn't really matter.   When are worrying about pleasing God, the rest works itself out.

3. What's something you'll never give up on?

I really had to think about this question.  I think that I will never give up on trying to see the good in people.  I let my mouth get the best of me sometimes, but I really do believe that most people have good intentions.  I get that sometimes it's really hard to find, but when you pay attention sometimes life can really surprise you.  That moment where your expectations of someone are turned on their head for the good is so sweet!

4. If you had to cook something from scratch in the next hour what would it be?

Assuming my oven was working (which right now it's not) it would be lasagna because that sounds so good right now!!!

5. Have you started Christmas shopping? Decorating? Listening to Christmas music?

I have not started shopping, though we are going to the craft fair this weekend, so maybe I will start then.  I'm a traditionalist in that I don't decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving, but since I don't do Black Friday, that's probably when I will start digging through my decorations in storage.  It's also when I will start the Christmas music.  (Of which I have lots and deeply enjoy!)

6. What do you know about your parent's wedding?

My parents were married in 1976.  They were married at the local Catholic church and their reception was at my grandparents' house.  Mom's bridemaids each wore a different color pastel dress with a matching hat.  Mom wore a hat, too, instead of a veil.  It was a fantastic example of seventies' goodness.  (see below)

7. I can't believe I ____have been blessed enough to do some of the things I've been able to do____.

I forget that many of my students haven't been out of the tri-state, and I have been able to travel to all kinds of places.  I think about it until my students see my pictures or hear my stories, and get that dreamy look I used to get when someone talked about traveling.  Standing on a Broadway stage, sunbathing in San Juan, walking through our nation's capital all made me a better teacher because I can share my experiences with my students who haven't had those opportunities.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

This has been the craziest week.  Rollercoaster City, for sure.  But, I am doing my best to remember that God is still God and that He sees and He knows and He loves.  If you can embrace that, the rest is much easier to stomach.

2 On Tuesday: Pet Peeves

This week, Andrea wants to know our pet peeves.  This is a list that could go on and on, but I am going to do my best to keep it to my top two. 

1.  People not watching their children in public - Nothing makes me crazier than when parents release their children on the public, but don't really watch them.  Now in some settings this okay or even expected, but not in all of them.  It's particularly annoying when they are destroying other people's stuff.  Or throwing wild fits.  It's all I can do to keep the teacher in me from taking control of the situation.

2.  Music boxes - Okay, so I don't know if this goes under a pet peeve or just a pure unadulterated hatred, but I cannot stand wind-up music boxes.  Even thinking about them gives a level of anxiety.  My grandma says that it stems from the lullaby toy they used to play to get me to go to sleep as a baby (I was terrible about sleeping until I was 3 or 4), but I'm not so sure.  All I know is that whenever one starts up, I have to get out of the room or I will lose it.  (Yeah, I know it's super weird.)

Can't want to see what everyone else has to say!

The One Where I Dream I'm Stephanie Plum

This has been sort of a heavy place to be this weekend!  Sorry, people.  Let's get back to my regularly scheduled programming of fluff and fun.  For starters, Melanie (Big Mama) is giving away an HP TouchSmart 320.  And it's awesome and I really, really want one!  If you want one, go there and enter too!  I'm all about sharing the wealth today!

Moving on...My mom and dad are both big fans of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books.  There's a movie coming out in January (and Mom really wants to see it).

I decided that before I go see the movie, I should see what all the fuss was about.  I read the first two books in record time and I am now on my third book, about to move into a fourth.  They are so much fun!  It's part comedy, part mystery, with a little bit of Moonlighting style romance.  I have no doubt this is what I will be reading as many of them as I can this winter (my parents have them all)!

However, it is starting to invade my subconscious a bit.  I don't know if it's because she's a little goofy and always seems to get herself into crazy situations or what, but I've started having dreams where I am the bounty hunter.  I woke up laughing at the thought!  I mean, last night's involved me solving a case in Chuck E. Cheese!  Perhaps this is my next career?  Anyway, I can take or leave all that part, though I would be thrilled to have my own Joe Morelli to spar with!

Do you have a series that you love to read?  Share in the comments.  (Although, if the answer is Twilight, don't feel obligated!  tee hee!)

On Church...

I should be grading papers.  (I should always be grading papers.)  But, at this moment, I need to write.  Other than a mention here or there, I haven't really said much about finding a new church, other than I most certainly was doing so.  I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation, but there are so many things bubbling over in me that I can't keep it to myself.  Today, I visited a church that had been on my list for a while, and I loved it.  I will be praying like crazy for God to show me exactly where He wants me, but I left church feeling happy and excited for the first time in a really long time. 

The sermon today was on Galatians 2:11-21.  It was exactly what my heart needed to hear.  Despite what some might think, my decision to leave the church that I have attended for the majority of my adult life (the last ten years), was not a flippant or easy one.  I have cried more tears over this decision than I did over my initial one to leave the Catholic church to pursue the opportunity to lead praise and worship.  I have so many warm and wonderful memories of services and of the people in that church, some of whom I love and will miss so deeply.  But it was time.

Ten years ago, when the girls and I were asked to lead worship, we prayed over it for a long time before we said yes.  God made it clear that it was where He was sending us, and it wasn't always an easy road in those earliest years.  But we grew and God blessed and our ministry was as good as any ministry with three stubborn and strong-willed women could possibly be.  I will never be able to sing a praise and worship song (or most any song) without longing to hear the harmonies of Sheena and Crys in my ears.  Even good things have a shelf life, however, and within the last couple of years due to many different things, it became clear that God was calling us to new things.  (And even to new places.)

I might have stayed where I was even after we stopped singing, but there were other circumstances, too.  (Aren't there always.)  It's rarely one big thing that forces our hand, but a thousand little things.  It took going somewhere else to realize just how dry my spirit was.  If I were honest with myself, I'd known that I hadn't been getting what I really needed for a long time.  But I am nothing if not the champion of rationalizations.  I kept thinking I would go after this happens, and when that came and went, I would draw a new line in the sand.  I'm not one of those people who relishes being out of my comfort zone.  And that's what I knew this move would require.  Leaving would hurt, but staying would be much worse.

At the end of the day, there are only a few things that truly matter.  For me, those things are honesty, integrity and respect, especially when you are talking about leadership.  I'd been through the loss of those things in my work environment once upon a time, and I knew that I couldn't survive the lack of those things in my church.  I didn't realize how close I came to losing it all spiritually, until I saw today that it can be different.  I don't want to play church.  I want to worship my Boss and my Rescuer (which the pastor said this morning, and I find a lot more personal than Lord and Savior).  I want to serve Him.  And I want to do that wherever He puts me. 

Update:  I've never done this on a post before, but I am closing the comments.  If you want to discuss something in this post, please feel free to email me at msmiller111@hotmail.com.

Waves

I wasn't going to post over the weekend.  I usually don't.  But tonight, I am really lonely, which is not an emotion I settle into all that often, believe it or not.  Generally, I don't give it a second thought.  My life is how it is, and it's not really all that bad.  But everyone once in a while, the wave of loneliness that has no real rhyme or reason comes, and being blindsided makes it that much worse.

I saw this on Pinterest and it struck a serious nerve:

That is exactly how I feel.  Just once.  Someone to have a Saturday night in with.  Someone to go with me to a wedding.  Someone to give me a hug after a really bad day at work, or a really good day, for that matter.  No matter how okay I am most of the time, on these days my heart aches to be married and to have a family and to think that I will never get those things, that I will never find that man, breaks my heart and makes me furious all at once.  And I'm not sure which is harder to deal with. 

Anyway, just trying to keep it real around here.

On Veterans Day

To those who have served...

Grandpa Chuck, US Army Air Corps

Bob E., US Marines

Grandpa Gus and James Kramer (a Navy photographer), US Navy

Junior E., US Army

 ...then and now...

Sawyer and Tim

...in and out of uniform, at home and abroad,... 

Tara

Keith

Thank you. 

This Veteran's Day and always I am so thankful for all of the military members and their families.  They give of their time, their comfort, and some even give with their lives, so that we all may live in the freedom we enjoy.  Some are friends, some family, some former students--all of them are my heroes.  Nothing but love and gratitude today and always.

Thursday's Thoughts...

• I can't get enough of Miranda Lambert's new album, Four the Record.  And I can't wait to watch the CMAs that my dad DVR'd for me since I had to work the concession stand last night.
• It's my Friday!  And even though I've only worked two days this week, a three-day weekend is always welcomed. 
• This weekend is the weekend I get my house clean.  For sure.  Probably.  At the least, it's the weekend that I'm not going anywhere because I don't have any extra money after paying to have my furnace fixed.
• I'm planning on visiting a church this weekend that may very well be my new home church.  It's a church that is doing some really great things, and I am looking forward to it very much!
• I really need a new hairstyle.  And I have an appointment in a couple weeks, so suggestions are always appreciated.
• Is it wrong that I am already looking forward to next weekend?  (Which is also a three-day weekend, because we don't have school on the first day of shotgun deer season.)  I have big plans with my girlies, including going to see our favorite local band! 
• Does anyone else have bad/weird dreams if they get too hot when they are sleeping?  No?  Just wondering.  It's not like I do or anything.
• It's finally gotten cold here. (yay!)  Now I get to spend the next few months whining about having to de-ice my car in the morning.  (boo!)

Okay, I think I am officially out of random thoughts.  If you have a random thought, feel free to share it in the comments!  I'm still trying to get around to everyone who has been commenting on my post recently.  I promise that if I haven't been to visit you, I will soon!