Thursday, May 19, 2011

When It Isn't Like You Planned

I've found that when you have groups of friends who are all about the same age, things happen in cycles.  Can I just start off by saying that I not a huge fan of the current one?  Because lately, it seems like all of my people have been dealing with dreams that just aren't happening the way they pictured them happening, myself included.  And that's a tough pill to swallow. 

Let's be honest.  It's not that we actually believe that everything is going to work out like we have it in our heads, right?  Actually, that is part of the problem.  I think we are willing to believe that the little things won't go our way.  When it rains on our day off or we hit every red light, we don't worry too much.  But when the big things, the life-changing things, show up at our door, it's a whole different story.  We grieve for what might have been, for the life we imagined having.  And to say that grief is a complex emotion seems like the understatement of the year.

We all wear our grief differently.  Some retreat into projects at work or at home.  Others soldier on with a brave face.  We may be in tears one minute and laughing hysterically the next, all the while hoping this isn't really our story, that's there's been a great cosmic mix-up.  Eventually, we see that while life may never be the same, it carries on.  New blessings come our way, new problems arise.  We dream new dreams, knowing some may come true but some won't.

I'm ready for a new season to come to my circle, one of new beginnings and big blessings.  I am sure it's right around the corner.  All we have to do is wait.


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