In the immortal words of Bonnie Tyler, "Where have all the good men gone, And where are all the gods?" (Ha! Couldn't resist a Footloose reference!) But, all joking aside, I do have a rather serious topic today. This is one of those rare moments where I may stray from being family-friendly, so be warned. (But I promise not to get too far out of hand!) I don't know what has happened to chivalry and loyalty in this world when it comes to relationships. Where are the men of courage and honor? Have those days gone for good? If what I have been seeing is the norm, then it really makes a girl wonder if she even wants to be in a relationship. And ladies, I'm not letting us off the hook either. It takes two as they say, and it seems that a man who is looking to compromise a relationship (and himself) has no problem finding someone to do it with. (Pun not intended, but just the same...)
But the question I really want to consider is why? Why are we so willing to throw our morals to the wayside when lascivious activities present themselves? Do we have to say yes just because it is available? I certainly don't pretend to have all the answers. You can check my dating background and see that. But I'm just discouraged by men and women I have seen fall to the "grass is greener on the other side" mentality. And I just don't get it. Cheating is never excusable, but that's not to say it's not something a couple can come back from if both sides want to work at it. But what's the deal with cheating in the first place? It's become so common that we barely blink an eye at the news. And that just isn't okay.
I was raised in a fairly small community, and so my formative years were somewhat sheltered. But when I think about the kids in my graduating class (of which there were a whopping 37), less than half of us had parents who were divorced and that was just in 1999. But that is certainly not how it is today. (And I live in the same community, in case you wondered.) Maybe I am in the minority myself, but I believe that divorce is still a big deal, even when it is necessary. But what I really find myself wondering is how can we turn the tide? Is that even possible?
I'm just talking out loud here. I invite you to join me in this discussion, but I ask that you play nice. We all are entitled to our own opinions and gracious knows I don't have all of the answers. I'm anxious to hear from you...
Well, I live in a community where jobs are scarce and people marry quite young. Myself, I waited till my early 30's and that made a huge difference. These young couples not only have to survive extra years but lack of maturity and raging hormones. I mean, for me, things were way zingier in my 20's than in my teen years and if I'd had to stay true to just one person, I dunno know. So my advice - no one marry before the age of 26.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to hear a "young person" hold on to convictions and morals. I have two daughters in their 20s so I know the angst they (and you) go through. One was CRUSHED by a guy who cheated on her (I remember her calling me in her car crying so hard I worried she'd crash.) It took her a long time to find "trust" in the male race. But, there is hope - so hang on! She has met a "good guy" and they seem to have a great mutual relationship.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately in today's world there seems to be adulation for "bad boy" and "bad girl" behavior. Our media puts it out there for all to see. Plus, today young people don't always mature as early as they use to...for whatever reason. Holding on to the fun & games of college years? Perhaps. Fearing hard work, and debt, and responsiblity? Perhaps. Hang in there! What do they say? The 30's are the new 20's? Stick to your moral integrity!
The last several guys I dated where I used to live would just up and leave at the mere *mention* of meeting the parents, and that would be after having been dating for at least 3 months. I don't understand the parent meeting paranoia. Sure, I wouldn't want to meet them on a first or second date, but after three months? It's not like it means we have to marry for Pete's sake. Another thing I found worrisome is that a lot of guys were having a tendency to be living with their parents, into their 30s. One guy I finally figured out, had never once moved out. I'm all for having a great relationship with your parents - because I love hanging out with mine - but, you will never learn independence if you just stay at home your whole life. Needless to say, I kinda got burned out on dating, so now I'm living in a community where there's seemingly no single men, obviously single myself, and happy. I just need a break.
ReplyDeletewe must be on the same wavelength. I wrote about the Knight Archetype today:)
ReplyDeleteNutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
Just A-Zing around!
I agree with you. I think people who are either married or in a committed relationship should try everything they can before calling it quits. You can come back after bad things happen in a marriage but you both have to be willing to make sacrifices and meet each other halfway.
ReplyDeleteI have been with my husband for 23 years and it hasn't always been good but we made a commitment to stay together and we have somehow managed to do so.