Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When God Wants Your Attention

Not too long ago, I wrote about being a single, Christian girl.  The thing is, contrary to what you might think, I don't spend all that much time pondering my situation.  It's just one of those things that is.  I am a teacher.  I am a photographer.  I am single.  It's so much a part of my life that there's not really a lot of point to dissecting it.  When I was in my early 20s, I thought about it a lot.  I was kind of consumed by the quest to not be single, and was angry when I was so unsuccessful.  Maybe it's just that I'm busy or maybe it's a little something that I like to think of as maturity, but I just don't feel like that anymore.  I'm not angry or angsty or anything of the sort.  I just am.

Which leads me to my point, and I promise you I have one.  I have been asked to give what is commonly refered to as "The Singles Talk" at a teen retreat this winter.  Normally, women shy away from this particular talk, but I felt God asking me to do it.  My mom is the director this time, and so I went to her and said "I really want to do this talk."  She answered "Good, because I felt lead to ask you to give this talk, but I didn't know if you would want to."  Honestly, there is a part of me that wishes I wasn't a candidate for this particular talk.  I figured, like most Midwestern girls I know, that by the time I was pushing 30 I would be married and maybe have a kid or two.  But, I'm not.  And I believe there's a God constructed reason for that, even if I don't know what it is.  What God is asking of me right now is to consider what He is.  And that seems to be where the focus of my talk will be.  It's not about about what I am, it's about the Great I AM.  He's showing me that I'm not the same girl who gave this talk before (that's right, this is my second time), but He's still the same God.  And there's a certain amount of comfort in that.  It doesn't mean I don't wish the phone would ring, but it also means that I no longer sit around waiting for my real life to begin. 

That's just where my head is today.  Thought it was worth sharing.


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