Three posts in one day. I know, I just can't seem to stop talking today.
I've been overweight all my adult life. I know I've mentioned that before, but it's worth restating. Even when I lost weight (with the help of a "doctor" and meds), I was still nowhere near where I am supposed to be on the magical charts. It bugs me that this is true, not because my self-worth has anything to do with my size, but because I know that I am not healthy. I have diabetes, heart issues, and a predisposition to strokes in my family. I don't want to live the rest of my life the size I am, simply because it's not good for my body.
The problem is food and the way I deal with food. I am an emotional eater, and I freely admit it. If I'm sad, I eat. If I'm really happy and celebrating, I eat. Will power is non-existent. I mean, I'm sitting here right now, trying to focus on writing and taking care of a to-do list a mile long, but instead I'm thinking how I would take someone out for a chocolate bar right about now. It's crazy! I really want to lose weight, but I just can't seem to stick to it.
If you are addicted to drugs or alcohol, you can quit. You don't need those things to live. But it's different with food. I wish that I could be the person who only eats healthy things and who loves to work out, who can be happy with a little progress who doesn't feel wrecked when she falls off the diet bandwagon, but I'm not that girl. It should be easier because I live by myself, but that's actually harder because there's no one else around to see. I'm just really struggling to get it together right now. Anyone else know what I am talking about?