Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Issue With Food

Three posts in one day.  I know, I just can't seem to stop talking today.

I've been overweight all my adult life.  I know I've mentioned that before, but it's worth restating.  Even when I lost weight (with the help of a "doctor" and meds), I was still nowhere near where I am supposed to be on the magical charts.  It bugs me that this is true, not because my self-worth has anything to do with my size, but because I know that I am not healthy.  I have diabetes, heart issues, and a predisposition to strokes in my family.  I don't want to live the rest of my life the size I am, simply because it's not good for my body.

The problem is food and the way I deal with food.  I am an emotional eater, and I freely admit it.  If I'm sad, I eat.  If I'm really happy and celebrating, I eat.  Will power is non-existent.  I mean, I'm sitting here right now, trying to focus on writing and taking care of a to-do list a mile long, but instead I'm thinking how I would take someone out for a chocolate bar right about now.  It's crazy!  I really want to lose weight, but I just can't seem to stick to it. 

If you are addicted to drugs or alcohol, you can quit.  You don't need those things to live.  But it's different with food.  I wish that I could be the person who only eats healthy things and who loves to work out, who can be happy with a little progress who doesn't feel wrecked when she falls off the diet bandwagon, but I'm not that girl.  It should be easier because I live by myself, but that's actually harder because there's no one else around to see.  I'm just really struggling to get it together right now.  Anyone else know what I am talking about?


  1. I completely relate, and there are five other people in my home to see me. I didn't start puting on weight till I was 28 and then it was as if something went mechanically wrong with my metabolism. However my thyroid is not to blame. I eat too much and I exercise too little. When I eat I feel satisfied for a little while, and I know it's filling voids that should be being filled in other ways. Ultimately I need to find true satisfaction in God, but as I type this, I say, "How? How do shin people do that? Even thin, fit Christian people seem, for the most part, obsessed with food--the controlling of it vs. being satisfied in God." I know that Weight Watchers helped me lose 19 pounds, but when I told the WW meeting leader (as I weighed in one day) that my goal was to lose 100 in a year, her response crushed me. She said (in a clipped North Carolina accent) "That in't gonna happ'n." I felt so defeated I wanted to scream. I also wanted to grab her and say, "Hey ,lady, keep your opinions to yourself. You're supposed to encourage me. 100 pounds in a year is less than 2 a week. It's been done. Say "you're ambitious!" and then let me try. It's not like I said 300 in a year! If I "only" lost 50 in a year, it would be a huge victory for me! Can you tell this is my soapbox?

  2. thin people, not shin people! I've got to slooow down and then prooooooof read!

  3. I followed you Zoanna! And more over, I agree with you. I've got to start back and Weight Watchers, even though I was out for a couple weeks and I know I gained weight! Ugh!

  4. Hello, my name is Sheena and I too am addicted to food and allergic to exercise. We should start a support group!


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