Tara (aka Macy Jane's mom) is back to blogging, and in her most recent post, she addresses a subject that's been bugging me too. Why can't we, as women, respect the choices of other women? And why do we feel that we have to justify ourselves so loudly to the world? I know that some people would probably give that whole feminist thing about how because women have been, and continue to be, oppressed and limited by societal expectations, we feel that we have to fight to make our voices heard. And maybe there's some true in that, even if we do it subconsciously. But that's not really what I'm getting at.
What I am talking about I see and hear every single day, and it's one of the least attractive characteristics of women. (And I'm not going to lie, sometimes it is coming out of my own mouth.) We judge others by what we would do in a given situation. It's more than just working moms vs. stay-at-home moms, though that's certainly a polarizing topic. For instance, if I come in early and stay late at work, my boss might think I'm doing a great job, but I've had others say I'm a workaholic. As far as I'm concerned, I'm just doing what it takes to survive. If I say that I'm happy being single (at least most of the time) or that I'm not sure that I want kids (no matter how much I like them), someone always comes along to say that I should try harder to meet someone or that surely I will change my mind about kids. Would it be so wrong if I didn't?
I am probably one of the most insecure people out there, and I love validation just as much as the next girl. I'm a people pleaser to my very core. But I will be the first one to tell you that just because I have made the choices I've made, doesn't mean your choices are wrong. (Of course, it doesn't mean they are right, either.) But I think we can all agree that there is nothing more annoying than someone trying to force ideas down your throat. I think if we would stop trying to hard to prove that we are doing something right or something special, we'd all be a little easier to deal with.
So, on top of my forgiveness thing I am working on (somewhat begrudgingly, because it's hard), I'm also trying to be less judge-y about the people around me. Which is only slightly harder than forgiveness, because sarcasm and a sharp tongue are kind of my bread and butter. But if my mom can give up Hershey's Kisses for 40 days, I can at least try to be a little nicer. But I'm probably going to need more chocolate...