I miss performing. I have been a singer all my life, and outside of singing the National Anthem for my high school from time to time, this is the first time in a very long time that I haven't had a place to sing for people. I know what the girls and I used to do was worship and not performing, but it filled that place for me. I'm not supposed to say that, it's supposed to be all about worship and it was, but I took pleasure in the idea that we sounded good, too. I miss applause. And even compliments, though I am terrible at accepting those. I am actually a little shy, especially one on one, and I always get embarrassed. Give me a whole room, and I will be nervous, but get passed it, though. Give me one person paying a compliment and I duck my head like a little girl.
I miss the atmosphere, too. Not talking really talking about the worship setting here, but even farther back, to my actual theater-style performing roots, which I did as a child and through my teen years. I love that feeling of butterflies right before and that glorious moment right after when you know that you nailed it just like you'd practiced! The laughter of the crowd or the tears, and that wild applause after the final number. If you've ever done it, it's easy to see why they call what you catch performing a bug, and why it is so hard to get out of your system. There's no real cure for it, even time does't do it for some of us.
I guess that's why teaching appealed to me, partly anyway. Between the hours of eight and three you may finding me singing or doing goodness only knows to gain the attention of my fickle audience. And what worked for the last show may not work for this one. But when you have them, when they settle in and really listen and beg for one more chapter, it's pretty great.
But I will always cherish the years of my life from seven to twenty, when time was something there was to spare and the stage was the most comforting place I knew. And I will always, always think life needs just a few more opportunities for applause.
Bravo!!!!! This is so true. I must say I don't think there is a thing wrong with you feeling good about hitting it just right. Not a thing wrong with enjoying and getting more than worship out of it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like it was an awesome time in your life! Would loved to have heard you!
I think many people tend toward one of two extremes: "it's worship so God doesn't care if it's any good," and "it's worship, but I have to perform my best so everyone will know how good I am, and I get applause and I am asked to do it again." Worship is primarily our response to God, so the opinion of others doesn't ultimately matter. However, that doesn't mean the quality of our worship doesn't matter. First, we want to offer back to God the best of what He's given us (off the top of my head: Cain and Abel, and the parable of the talents). But secondly, especially if we are responsible for assisting others in worship, we don't want to be a distraction. This can happen either by being too showy, drawing attention to ourselves, or by being so bad that people can't focus on God because they are too busy trying to feign a smile and look encouraging.
ReplyDeleteI would say, then, that in worship, there should be an element of "performance," as in we should want to please the ear of those listening since this will hopefully help them look to God. But most of all we should desire most to please the ear of the One who gives us the ability to worship in the first place.
This must be a great post, Katie, since you inspired my little lecture. Sorry... I'm a writer/theologian... sometimes I just can't help myself. :)
I agree with what you said. Having performed in two venues (theater and church) all my life, the two are tied in some ways in my mind. Theater is where I was validated as having a talent in the first place. (Well, outside of my family!)Worship is set apart, but it's also the closest thing I've come to performing in the last 10 years.
DeleteI also agree that while "making a joyful noise" shouldn't be dismissed, using your talent given by God is also important. In that venue, pleasing the Giver of the gift is or at least should be the primary goal, but I also know that the right song can move the heart of His people. Personally, if it's the wrong song or a performance (or performer) that's distracting, it's hard to get into the moment. (At least for me it is!)
Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts! That's my favorite part of the challenge!
BRAVO! Well said :) I'm a fellow teacher (substitute now--getting my foot back in the door after having 8 years off) and man is it hard to hold their attention! I wish I could sing, that would come in handy :)
ReplyDeleteSurely there's a community playhouse in your area that would LOVE to have you!
ReplyDeleteThere is. The problem is that practices and whatnot no longer really work with my schedule and I can't really take the time off that would be required for day performances. I miss when time was a luxury! :)
DeleteWell, now I need to hear you sing :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a digital copy of me singing because I totally would have included it in this post! :)
DeleteHey! I'm stopping by from the A to Z Challenge!
ReplyDeleteI am the same way about taking a compliment from a single person, but I'm also terrible about being in front of a large group... so Bravo for you!
Good luck with the Challenge. I look forward to the rest of the month!
Christine
www.coffeeinthegarden.blogspot.com
I'm with Mindee...what about some community theatre? I know time is at a premium but if its something you love maybe you should check it out. I can't carry a tune but have great appreciation for those who can. Thankfully my girls got their musical genes from hubs side of the family!
ReplyDeleteThe local community theater is what I worked with from 7 to 20. Maybe having a choir of my own will fill some of that this fall!
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