Sunday, October 7, 2012

What We Don't See

As bloggers, we know that there is a certain boundary that we all have to put up.  We don't share every facet of our lives on our blogs because that would be ridiculous and dangerous.  Instead, we create a sort of half-drawn image of who we are and what we do, and it works for the medium.  But it would be silly to think that what you see on the blog is the whole of me.

But this guarded image isn't something that is reserved solely for the blog world.  How much of other peoples' lives do we really know?  The truth is we can't ever fully know anyone else.  I can think of so many instances where a friend or relative has revealed something to me after the fact and I was shocked.  (Of course, part of this could always be traced back to my general lack of observation skills, but I digress.)  It's hard to know what someone else goes home to, struggles with, endures.  I know this from my own struggle with depression.  No one but those closest to me had any idea what was going on with me, and I'm not sure how honest I was with them because I had a lot of trouble putting words with my feelings.  I was lucky that circumstances in my life at the time triggered my fight instinct.  It very well could have gone the other way.

I think about this subject often, usually because of my students.  I often wonder what kind of situations they go home to.  Through ten years of teaching, there have been many times when I wished that I could just take some of them into my own home.  My heart breaks just thinking about it.  I know that this is heavier talk than we usually have around here, but it's just what's been on my mind tonight.  If you are reading this in a home where you have electricity, heat, clean clothes in the closet, and people you love who love you back around you, thank God for those blessings.  And when you are done, say a prayer for those that don't.  Because they are certainly out there, whether we know it or not.

12 comments:

  1. I think this about my students too! The stories I hear are shocking. People hide things really well.

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    1. This is so true. I have found that the more suffering they have, the better they become at putting up a good front.

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  2. I wonder and worry so much about my students. I also get angry with some of my fellow teachers who can't understand why students do not complete homework-maybe this student was too hungry or cold to complete homework or being worried about their parents because parents weren't home. I share your feelings.

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    1. Some students aren't worried about what we're learning in history because they are too concerned with if they will have somewhere to sleep that night. It's true in my small community and I think it's true in most. I day it all the time---I can't let passion for what I teach keep me from having compassion for who I teach.

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  3. I can't believe some of the stories my students tell me. Just last week, a girl in my 5th per. class told me that she had gotten in a fight with her mom and he parents had not fed her for 2 whole days as punishment. At first I was shocked, but after a little more digging I found out that she is one of 6 kids, her parents sell shampoos for a living, they have hardly any money and there's very little food in the house. Needless to say, I had to report this to the county, which intervened that same day. I think the girl has some serious emotional problems, which hopefully are being addressed along with her more critical physical needs. Even if I work in the ghetto, it's easy to forget what hell some of my kids live in. When I go home, I have a nice house, plenty of food, clothes, electricity etc. It takes something like this to remind me I don't teach in Beverly Hills.

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    1. No one gets this the way other teachers do. I didn't grow up wealthy by any means, but I had more opportunities than some. And I had two parents in my home who loved me. Some of my students don't feel as though they have any who loves them. Which is why what we do from 8-3 is such a big deal.

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  4. Beautifully said Katie. I have said this before, I can certainly tell you are an awesome teacher! Very caring. As for depression, the stigma continues unfortunately, but I think 4/5th of us (or more!) have had depression issues as some point in their lives. It comes with the territory of being human in this crazy world. Yes, there are some genetic and hormonal connections, but I think depression hits more people than that. I had a time in my life when I seeked help, and I have family members and friends who have gotten some medical help. I've learned that prayer and giving worries over to God are helpful!

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    1. Thank you, Marla. You are too sweet. My depression was probably part genetics and partly because of some medication I was taking that got my body out of whack. I didn't end up getting help in the most conventional way, but I did get to the other side of it. And much of the credit goes to the godly people who were praying for me when I couldn't do it for myself.

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  5. My daughter is teaching in a 5th grade class this semester and said she has been shocked by some of the confessions parents make at conferences. I remember as a teacher feeling a little like a therapist. Sometimes people just need to talk. Everybody's got something going on behind the scenes. The world could use a little more grace.

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    1. I love that, Joyce. We all need a little more grace.

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  6. I totally agree. I think we're more guarded in our actual lives than the blogging world!

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    1. I think that's true. It's much easier to type what you feel than to share it person-to-person.

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