Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Bye-Bye, Fat!**

Despite how much I don't really want to, today I am going to sign up for access to the gym at SCC.  They have a new awesome facility and I can join for $25 because I'm a teacher.  My sister has promised to come work out with me, so I have no excuse.  I'm tired of being fat.  And that's what I am. 

I have never been skinny, not in my whole life.  I wasn't always this size, but even in high school I was one of the heavier girls.  The thing is I know that I don't have to stay this size.  When I had lost weight before, I loved it.  I loved trying on clothes knowing they would fit.  I loved not dreading going shopping for a new pair of pants.  And it wasn't like this was that long ago.  It was only about two years ago now when I was at the smallest I can remember being in my adult life. 

I want that back.  I want to go somewhere and know that I won't be the biggest girl in the room.  I want to wear clothes and not be embarrassed about what I look like in them.  I don't want to look in the mirror or at a picture and wonder, "How did this happen?"  I just want to be comfortable again.  Please don't get me wrong.  Rarely in my life do I really ever consider my size.  It does not affect my self-worth or my self-esteem.  And it hasn't in a really long time.  What it amounts to is that I know when I really felt good, and that was when I was eating right and working out.  So, those are two things that I can totally do again.  I just have to put forth some effort.  I have to want it.  And despite talk about the subject before, I think this time I'm ready.

**Bonus points to anyone who knew that the title of today's post came from an episode of Full House.


Post a Comment

Comments make my day! Leave me one here...