Today I am having a bit of a day. Not bad. Not particularly good. I've watched a lot of movies. I've thought a lot. And I'm just not the kind of girl who can handle having a lot of time on her hands. Perhaps it's mostly hormonal, but I don't necessarily think that's all of it.
Been battling some loneliness lately. I love the way most everything is going in my life these days. I love my job and my super cute bedroom. My darling friends are happy and healthy. Things are really looking up. But, and I'm mostly talking to all you single girls out there, do you ever feel like you are wandering around alone in a world where everyone else is paired up two by two? Because that's the feeling I've been having a time with. I don't miss anyone in particular, I miss the feelings that go with all that girl+boy stuff. I miss something that I haven't really had. And that thought doesn't exactly make it better. It's a vicious circle. Sometimes you just feel like the only single girl out there, even when you know it's not the truth.
Good news is that God's all about little things. I checked my email and had a response from Amy Beth on this very topic. And my Nanny (who's not actually my grandma but that's a story for another time) was online and we got to visit. This isn't really one of those things that goes away. It's always there, but sometimes I'm busy enough not to think about it. Tonight I am. And I just feel like the only way to deal with it is to be honest. Tell my truth, like I am so fond of telling others to do. So, here I am. And as Crys would say, it is what it is.
P.S. On a much happier note, Crys posted a video that my college/Facebook friend, Erin, and her husband made about their new baby. If you have a second, stop by and watch it. It's adorable!
Hi there! Boy do I know how you feel. I was mostly single for all of my adult life until last year, July. I met someone and fell for him right away. It was not like me to go in to a relationship so quickly and deeply (thus my long single life). We moved in together right away (also not my style, but I was crazy about him). We are still together; I was 44 when we met and am 45 now. We have both struggled with the changes, especially me. It is so weird to share decisions and space after being independent for so long. But I love having a partner. I was finally ready to be with someone, to compromise, to talk things out and talk and talk and talk and negotiate. But what I now realize is that I don't think I was ready before. Best of luck to you, hope all goes the way you want it to!
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